Lynn's Wedding Dinner

Left Work Late

Walked past the local General Manager's office looking for one of the Business Manager and noticed her in the GM's room. Its 5:30pm, so might as well turn away and walk off. A hand waved at me feverishly - its was the GM. I left office at 6:30pm that day.

Fast and Furious

No drifts but I reached home before 7pm to pick my my wife and ZL. Not surprisingly, they were not ready, so I had to wait a bit before they believe their makeup is perfect.

Slow and Furious

Black Mitsubishi Lancer, slowing down and trying to turn right at every junction along the road behind Funan Center. Idiot! The only place you can turn right is very far down! High beamed him lots during the 15 minutes of traffic.

I reached my U-Turn only to realise that idiot is making a turn too. Too bad ... After the turn, he tried to turn left into a small lane, so I took this great opportunity to overtake him on the right lane and make my left turn at the junction ahead to Carlton Hotel. Idiot suddenly braked and dashed ahead into the left lane. Horned the shit out of him ...

After turning left at the junction, I was prepared to make a left into the hotel, but the idiot stopped in the middle of the junction before suddenly jerking left into the hotel too. A dozen high beams from me followed that incident. Along the route into and within the car park, he signaled "right" at every turn (its a one way road!!). I think I scared the shit out of him. Well, he deserves it thoroughly!

Parked my car and walked out in the company of 2 gorgeous ladies ... err one prettier than the other of course. Turned back and glimpsed the idiot driving the black Mitsubishi Lancer. He is a young lad in his twenties - a terrible driver nonetheless. I gave him my killer stare and walked off ... He ended up in the same lift as me, attended the same wedding dinner as me and sat on the same table as me. Whenever he tried to talk to me, I gave the killer stare and he pissed his pants.

The Groom

I prefer to talk about the bride, but women always look their best at their wedding so nothing much to say here. The groom is the complete opposite - another idiot. At their church wedding the last weekend, just because the caterer mistakenly prepared food for 50 people instead of 70 people, he refused to pose for any photographs that that. On the morning of the Wedding Dinner, he purportedly arrived more than 30 minutes late so that he can avoid playing games with the Bride's sisters.

He desperately needs to be described. In the simplest words possible, he has a steam chicken face that beckons a beating. He has a figure of Humpty Dumpty. He has an extremely lousy sense of humour, especially from his speech at the dinner. And he obviously does not know that he lacks style to be acting all cool and romantic, dancing to the crowd at whim and trying to sweep the bride off her seat as he went about his disgusting dance routine.

His name is Bernard.

Oh my god! I killed Kenny! Part I

"Are you still teaching?" I asked.

"Not for a while now", she replied.

"So you are being taught now?" I dumbly asked.

"Yes, I just came back from my studies in New Zealand", she says.

"Ah, me and my wild guesses!" I exclaimed!

Oh my god! I killed Kenny! Part II

"I took a loan for my studies and will be bonded for xx years, so I will be teaching again 6 months from now", she explained.

"Thats dumb! I would have taken a loan from a bank if I don't get a scholarship!" I grieved.

"yeah ..." she sighed.

"You reap what you sow", I sighed in agreement while I put my hand over wife's shoulder to play with her earring.

"Why do you have to put your hand over her when you say this?" she suddenly asked.

"Err ... to play with her earrings of course!"

"ah ... just kidding" - she looks away in embarrassment.

Oh my god! I killed Kenny! Part III

"New Zealand is a wonderful place! It would be great to grab a man there and settle down!" I advised her.

She looked me in the eyes and said, "Yes, when I came back and saw you, I know I should get a man in New Zealand."