Decisions

The White Box

One of the worst things that can happen to a person is getting a tummyache at the most inappropriate times. Imagine getting up the bus from Bedok Interchange enroute to Jurong Interchange and getting a bad tummyache 3 bus-stops later. Or like me, getting a tummyache in the MRT on my way to work when I am still like 10 stops from my workplace. Should I get down at the next stop to use the loo, or should I endure all the way to office (thats like another 40 mins of Hurricane Katrina stirring in my tummy)?

Today, I went into the toilet to settle my tummyache as usual. After 30 minutes of torturous squatting, its time to pack up and go. I tugged a little at the toilet paper sticking out of the big white box. The toilet paper streamed out of the box softly and gently. I could easily tell that this is cheap toilet paper, the pigmentation and craters on the surface of the paper hides no secrets. Shockingly, the toilet paper trail ended, and the piece of about 12 segments floated like a butterfly onto wet toilet floor. Its ironic, but I am in deep shit!

Its time to make big decisions. I looked at my jeans hanging on the toilet door and pondered over the choice of calling someone in office to drop by with some softer tissue paper. Maybe I should just sneak out of my cubicle and grab some toilet paper from the adjacent cubicle. What if someone steps into the toilet while I was sneaking butt-naked to the other cubicle? Extraordinary situations call for extraordinary measures - perhaps I could sacrifice my briefs to be a grandfather clock for half the day. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock ... I suddenly recalled the "kopi-so" at my once favourite coffee-shop shouting, "Waaaaa yao siu ah! Xiang aye lasup tei kor tim pang giam mun to ka??!!" Err.... perhaps not ....

"Poot poot poot poot poot plat plat plat!" the sound of music shattered the ghastly silence in the toilet. My flow of thought was broken. I was so deep in contemplation that I did not realise someone had gone into my adjacent cubicle. Now I have the option of asking the fellow next door to throw some me some toilet paper, but should I ....

More than 10 minutes have passed, and I am still doing squats. I could feel the warmth seeping out my legs, and numbness creeping in. When an aeroplane crashes, the authorities will search for the Black Box to understand the circumstances of the accident. I only have a white box, and it had deserted me. In a desperate attempt, I slither my hand through the hole at the bottom of the white box into the toilet paper holding area. I felt my way inside - it was warm and moist and soft. It groaned as I stretched my hand deeper in. I could feel it now, I think I have found the spot. It was sticky and I think the end might have got "glued". Gently, I tugged the piece free.

To my relief, it was really toilet paper, and there is enough to go around! I used the toilet paper prudently. This should be the end of my troubles, but fate dictates otherwise. I had to hang around the toilet for like another few minutes because my legs were too numb to walk. It was almost an hour by the time I reached my cubicle in office. There will be more decisions to make when I checked my email on my black box. It will be a black box until my company decides to get the new Dell computers with the chic white casing.


Danzig's Den

Whatever decisions you make, you will have to live with the outcomes. Years ago, when the Internet was just introduced in Singapore, I started my own webpage. The year was around 1995/1996. Being a great fan of the rock grup Danzig, I made a website called Danzig's Den with stupid themes and great midis. It lacked a unique logo and a lot more content. I went the hard way and created an animated gif of me in my Pu Yi glasses. The sad part of the story is that I had never ever uploaded that image into my virgin webpage. As a nice parting gesture to this article, I will share it with you. Enjoy!